I feel the need to clear the air. Not just for myself, but for every single mom out there.
Here's the truth: We have become sucked into a pinterest crazed, green & chemical free obsessed, pro-breastfeeding, anti-formula culture. Here we have been made to believe that if we don't provide our children with elaborate nursery decor, don't use cloth/chemical-free diapers, and don't breastfeed, that we are somehow less than perfect parents.
Don't get me wrong. I dig pinterest. I use it to get lots of ideas, from what to cook for dinner, to ways to decorate my home. But let's be honest. We do not live in a cookie-cutter perfect world. We cannot give our children over-the-top nurseries, birthday parties, clothing, etc ALL THE TIME. Our homes will probably never look like those on the pages of better homes and gardens (okay, MAYBE when the kids finally move out, but still it won't be for a long time. a very long time.) And how many DIY projects do we actually ever attempt? I mean let's break this down for a second. DIY stands for Do It Yourself. How many of you mom's actually EVER get time to do anything yourselves!? And when you do, how many of you actually use it to do arts and crafts? That's a negative. You will find me sprawled out on whatever surface is available to take a nap on.
And in terms of being green & chemical free? Honestly, there are things I care more about. It's just not something I'm passionate about. In no way do I purposely expose my daughter to known chemicals or carcinogens, I just don't feel the need to research every single fiber of her clothing to determine whether or not it's harmful in some way or another.
Which brings me to my last rant: Breastfeeding Vs. Formula. I am ALL for breastfeeding, IF that is something YOU desire to do. But don't try to tell me I'm wrong for giving my child formula. There are lots of women out there who desire to breastfeed and for one reason or another can't. So if you are one of the lucky mom's whose boobies decide to cooperate and produce enough milk to satisfy your baby, and you somehow manage to work through (or avoid) getting blisters which leave your nipples cracked and bleeding, then kudos to you. Seriously, it is NOT easy. I don't care what anyone tells you.
My house is a mess 99% of the time, despite spending 2-3 hours each morning cleaning it. My daughter's room looks like we just moved in yesterday (even though it's been almost 4 months) because there are boxes of clothes everywhere. There are no special decorations or pretty pink paint on the walls.
We use disposable cheap off brand diapers. Not once has my daughter ever had diaper rash. In her almost 9 months of existence. EVER.
I breastfed for the first month exclusively, and for two months off and on after that. My supply sucked. I called the lactation consultant at the hospital I delivered, I called my local La Lache representative, I searched the web, I joined Breastfeeding support groups online, I called breastfeeding guru friends. I took fenugreek, I drank GALLONS of water a day, I ate oatmeal for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I had blisters. Multiple blisters on each boob. Bleeding, cracked, sore blisters. Blisters my baby was sucking on. I did everything in my power to do what I could to provide what everyone was saying was "best" for my baby, and at the end of the day, it wasn't enough.
As a Mom you will forever think you know what's "best" for your child. But what's best for your child, may not be best for someone elses, or for you.
I am a good Mom. I am not perfect by ANY means. But guess what? None of us are. Pinteresting the crap out of your home, using cloth diapers, and breastfeeding your baby does not make you the perfect parent.
As Moms we compare ourselves to those around us. We want to be able to stand out, or at least fit in. We need to start ENCOURAGING those around us, rather than putting them down.
I'm not a perfect mom, but I have a perfect daughter. I have a HAPPY daughter. And that's all that matters to me.
Dedicated to all the Mom's out there who don't feel like they're doing anything right. Look into your babies eyes. You did that. You created that. Now breathe. You are doing just fine.
